Monday, December 24, 2007
Malcontents, Miracles & Frogs
Elastic is a miracle. I know this because otherwise I couldn't get dressed in the morning. Everything I own stretches, expands or spreads. My body is like that too, being supple, stretchy and springy. I prefer these words over loose, fat and droopy. I thank God every day for the invention of elastic.
Inventions are supposed to be good and I suppose most of them are. Thomas Hancock invented elastic and a machine called the rubber masticator on which to make it. When he was working on the machine he called it a "pickle" in order to keep his invention secret. Old Thomas and his elastic machine got me thinking about who invented what. And what were good inventions and what were bad inventions. Who, for example, invented the first knot? And did that lead to a button and from there we got the zipper and finally Velcro? Who thought up the shoe lace? The first sack? Or thread? Who thought up singing? Who hummed the first melody? Who made colors? Who thought to draw a picture?
I am thankful for most inventions. Indoor toilets, for example, beat the heck out of the outdoor privy although I cannot think of why there were "one holers" and "two holers". Is this an experience I want to share with
someone else? I thought also about the typewriter. It was a vast improvement over the printing press and the electric typewriter was better than the manual typewriter. At that point you'd think it couldn't get any better, but then along came the word processor and the personal home computer.
But some inventions are questionable. Such as girdles, snuff, taxes, super-sizing meals and spandex. Cigarettes, the rack, thumb screws, pay toilets, dog sweaters, panty-hose, removable tape, nuclear weapons, individualized cell phone rings, plastic plants, and would someone please explain to me the benefit of a see-through shower curtain?
YouTube is an invention I had never thought of wanting or needing but I enjoyed the trip. There are videos on everything. I watched a engaging Japanese video on how to avoid your own flatus. This video was a mixture of science and wisdom and some of it I might use, but I wondered if it wasn't more important to learn to avoid the unexpected emissions of others. That information was not included. I also watched a old very naughty ninety year old woman begging for just one more hot night with any willing man, and the Darwin awards, for the dumbest among us, made me feel brilliant or at least that I had a right to procreate. And I have to say a word about frogs. YouTube has a lot of them. Deadly frogs that predict human calamities and frivolous frogs to lighten a day.
YouTube hasn't been around that long, but it caught on like free lighters with pyromaniacs. Even the Queen of England is joining in. She has her own Royal Channel on YouTube. Can the Queen be wrong? Well, probably, but who is going to tell her?
This made me think that there are a lot of somebodies out there thinking up this stuff. And another thing, all these inventions didn't come from contented people. Contented people invent nothing. It's the brooding malcontents who invent. It is these grouchy, disgruntled and unsatisfied people who think up something that changes the world. Which leaves me to think I should leave the grumpy alone. They may be thinking up the next world-altering contrivance.
Inventions are supposed to be good and I suppose most of them are. Thomas Hancock invented elastic and a machine called the rubber masticator on which to make it. When he was working on the machine he called it a "pickle" in order to keep his invention secret. Old Thomas and his elastic machine got me thinking about who invented what. And what were good inventions and what were bad inventions. Who, for example, invented the first knot? And did that lead to a button and from there we got the zipper and finally Velcro? Who thought up the shoe lace? The first sack? Or thread? Who thought up singing? Who hummed the first melody? Who made colors? Who thought to draw a picture?
I am thankful for most inventions. Indoor toilets, for example, beat the heck out of the outdoor privy although I cannot think of why there were "one holers" and "two holers". Is this an experience I want to share with
someone else? I thought also about the typewriter. It was a vast improvement over the printing press and the electric typewriter was better than the manual typewriter. At that point you'd think it couldn't get any better, but then along came the word processor and the personal home computer.
But some inventions are questionable. Such as girdles, snuff, taxes, super-sizing meals and spandex. Cigarettes, the rack, thumb screws, pay toilets, dog sweaters, panty-hose, removable tape, nuclear weapons, individualized cell phone rings, plastic plants, and would someone please explain to me the benefit of a see-through shower curtain?
YouTube is an invention I had never thought of wanting or needing but I enjoyed the trip. There are videos on everything. I watched a engaging Japanese video on how to avoid your own flatus. This video was a mixture of science and wisdom and some of it I might use, but I wondered if it wasn't more important to learn to avoid the unexpected emissions of others. That information was not included. I also watched a old very naughty ninety year old woman begging for just one more hot night with any willing man, and the Darwin awards, for the dumbest among us, made me feel brilliant or at least that I had a right to procreate. And I have to say a word about frogs. YouTube has a lot of them. Deadly frogs that predict human calamities and frivolous frogs to lighten a day.
YouTube hasn't been around that long, but it caught on like free lighters with pyromaniacs. Even the Queen of England is joining in. She has her own Royal Channel on YouTube. Can the Queen be wrong? Well, probably, but who is going to tell her?
This made me think that there are a lot of somebodies out there thinking up this stuff. And another thing, all these inventions didn't come from contented people. Contented people invent nothing. It's the brooding malcontents who invent. It is these grouchy, disgruntled and unsatisfied people who think up something that changes the world. Which leaves me to think I should leave the grumpy alone. They may be thinking up the next world-altering contrivance.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
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